I think it’s GREAT when we can be honest and transparent about how we are feeling in the moment. What’s not so great is when we don’t take into consideration the people we are affecting with how we express our feelings. It’s so powerful to be able to express how we feel, but we can’t go around emotionally vomiting on everyone. That’s not the way to get our point across. And it’s not the way to attract healthy relationships.

How can we be more mindful while expressing ourselves?

First things first, think before we speak or act. No matter how in the negative we feel, pause and think of a kinder way to be. Why are we feeling these negative emotions? Reflect on them and make sense of them before we bring anyone else into the mix. This can save a lot of unnecessary drama!

Be real. Now that we’ve admitted to ourselves why we are reacting in a particular way, it’s time to be honest with the people around us and treat them with respect and kindness. We may feel so angry that we sometimes think they deserve our anger, but the truth is, they won’t really hear what we are saying if we are attacking them.

We are so much more powerful when we communicate after we’ve reflected on why we are feeling what we are feeling. It’s not up to the people around us to try to figure out what our deal is and then try to convince us. That’s helpful sometimes, but not their responsibility. Relationships will become much easier when we love and respect ourselves enough to get to know ourselves on the deeper levels, the ones that hurt. They can’t hurt us anymore if we are willing to put in the work to understand them.

We want to be honest with our feelings, cool! But guess what? Our expressions towards others affect them and in turn they will have a response. We can’t get upset about that. If we want to express our feelings, we have to be ready for what that elicits in others. It’s not fair to say, I want to express myself, but you are not allowed to express your feelings about how I’m expressing my feelings!

If we want to have successful relationships, we have to be willing to see beyond our own noses and put ourselves in another’s shoes. We need to be empathetic and considerate of the people around us. It’s not all about us and it’s not all about them. It’s about us all connecting, searching for common ground and understanding.

“Taking a balanced approach to negative emotions so that feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated. We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time. Mindfulness requires that we not ‘over-identify’ with thoughts and feelings, so that we are caught up and swept away by negativity.” Brené Brown

“Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” Brené Brown

<3 Leticia Rae

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